Category Archives: Holy &#@%

Theft Tuesday

Hello, is this the police department? It’s me, Elsa, the Ninja. I wish to report a theft. Over the weekend there was a conspiracy with my mom to steal my furs! Mom has been saying that I looked like a Muppet but she never said they would steal my furs!

Police Dispatcher: Um, ma’am…we don’t handle that kind of theft. I think you better take it up with your mom.

Me: Well I never! Maybe you guys can tell me what to do about this highway robbery?!

Since mom brought me home 8 months ago, she’s been trying to keep my luxurious coat looking it’s best. I let her trim me up a couple of times but it just isn’t my cup of kibble to have the water works, clipper and hairdryer so mom has been using scissors lately, but I’m so over her feeble attempts.

Luckily my big brother told me what to expect since he donated his furs earlier in the week so he could work at the hospital. He’s used to it and both mom and the groomer say he’s a good boy at it. Pfft! Good boy, ha…that’s laughable. He’s so dumb he just doesn’t know any better. Resist, I say!!

Should have figured out there was something rotten in Denmark going on since I got to go for a ride by myself. So here I am with Rebecca (Sam’s groomer when mom doesn’t spiff him up). She nice and all and I liked her, but I mean, criminy…she seems a bit too happy making me nekked with scissors, clippers and a hair drying that sounded like it was going to take off Yikes!! Oh sure, she  seems all nice and everything, but people…come on…she’s stealing my filthy beautiful furs! What does she need them for, I ask? They don’t keep her warm. And they don’t go with her red hair. I think my expression say it all  (even if you can’t  see my eyes for all the fur).

There was a girl who had ‘a little curl…right in the middle of her forehead’

But it got worse. I had to endure water on top of the theft! I was willing to drip dry, then Rebecca said we should ‘just try the dryer out’ to see how I’d do. I’ll tell you how I’d do. I’d freaked out…that’s how I’d do. But actually, truth be told, I didn’t do too badly according to Rebecca who let mom stay with me just in case I had a seizure from the stress. She talked nicely to both me and mom and said I was a good girl and only got upset when the dryer was close to my ears.

After the drying, Rebecca finished up the detail work and spiffed me up nicely. She even removed that little curl in the middle of my forehead. Her and mom couldn’t stop laughing about that. Wish I sure knew what was so dang funny about it? More stolen fur if you ask me!

All and all it wasn’t the worst thing to happen and I do smell really good now if I say so myself and mom can’t stop hugging on me. Even my dimwit brother has been checking me out, catching a sniff here and there. Mom got a new bandana out and said hot pink went pawfectly with the new shiny trimmed furs. Waddu think? Look, I even have eyeballs!

I’m still keeping the police on speed dial, just in case we have to go through this theft business again any time soon. At least my toys comforted me. Have you been a victim of this kind of crime?

Live, love, bark! ❤︎

Dogs and Rain

I can wait it out. Wake me up when it’s dry again.

It rained yesterday in the 303 and while that’s a great thing in this high mountain desert climate, it doesn’t seem to sit well among the 4 legged inhabitants around here. When we woke up yesterday morning the dogs were greeted by a lovely, steady rain and not happy about it one bit. I think the pressure on the bladder was sufficient enough to at least get them to pee but pooping in the rain…well that just wasn’t gonna happen. Not no how, not no way. Despite encouragement from me on 3 separate occasions, Ms. Elsa (who normally hasn’t the slightest problem splashing her way through seriously deep puddles of water on our walks) had definite other ideas. Pooping just ain’t happening till this weather is gone. We all know Sam is a complete ‘snowflake’ when it comes to H2O and will hold it for ever how long is necessary but I just couldn’t convince Ms. Elsa it would be ok to make a quick poop and each time was greeted with this video reaction. [I know her pip-squeaky bark for a 50+ pound dog with accompanying tail wag are too funny, and I can almost see Sam’s eyes rolling at her giving me the what for even suggesting a quick trip outside to the favorite relief spot (what is it about females that demand a certain spot or no can do?). Male dogs seem far more comfortable letting ‘er rip. Anywhere. So long as there is no rain.]

It is a known fact that dogs and rain don’t mix. Why is that? Because dogs can hear a lot farther than us uprights can and their hearing is far more superior at higher frequencies than our own ears. Sound waves heard by dogs often are at a higher decibel level than what are brains can detect. Rain drops landing are amplified when landing on objects through their ear structure and can be overwhelming for dogs. Thus, you will often get this “You expect me to go out and poop in THAT” look? Yeah, I don’t think so!”

Can your dogs ‘hold’ out in rain as if their innards were made of cast iron even when they don’t mind getting wet?

Live, love, bark! ❤︎

What a difference a day makes

Two days ago we received a surprise snow storm. While it was very welcomed, news reports yesterday suggested Denver will have the driest winter on record since the late 1800’s. To all those worried about the tulips, here’s what a day later looked like in the Mile High.

Happy Thursday. Our close personal friend Friday is just waiting around the corner to put more smiles on our faces. Make it a great one!

What a difference a day makes

Just in case you forget what springtime in the Rockies can look like. Love this state.

Springtime in the Rockies

Live, love, bark! ❤︎

Monday Musings

Well…so much for the winter storm alert (note the pitiful, teensy weeny skiff of snow on the ‘shroom). Apparently the storm veered south of us. There was bupkus snow on the ‘shroom when we passed by it again over the weekend. I originally thought someone had maybe hauled it off but then realized I was looking in the wrong block. Sam wasn’t all that impressed with its size or the lack of snow. Maybe he’s just bummed there was no snow for him to romp in. But then again, I reminded him that he’d have had to wear his snow boots and he assured me that would not be the best way for him to start the week off. 

Bigger but not better. What’s with the no snow show?

Wouldn’t it be grand to have a job where you could be wrong nearly 100% most of the time and still get paid oodles of dough? Don’t know about you, but I think I’d like THAT job!

What kind of fun was on your weekend radar?

Live, love, bark! ❤︎

April Fool’s Day

Having been retired for a year now, I often wonder if after 25 years of pranks like this were why the firm wasn’t all that ‘sorry‘ to see me leave (actually the boss I pulled this on enjoyed it but boy was he surprised once he realized there was an inch of water in each of those cups). Bwahaha! Sadly I wasn’t able to fit all 150 cups in this photo but you get the idea. Perhaps my two knuckleheads are payback for these kinds of shenanigans. You think?

Oh little Red Solo cup…you make me smile.

Here’s hoping any pranks coming your way today make you smile. Happy weekend.

Live, love, bark! ❤︎

 

Into each life some rain must fall

The title of this post was written by that popular nineteenth century American poet, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow in his classic poem “The Rainy Day.” It’s meaning is ‘this too we shall survive.’

It was that meaning made me reflect on some uncharacteristic weather that we’ve experienced for the past several days. Lots of grey overcast conditions, nothing like the 300+ days of sunshine those of us who are lucky enough to live in Colorado generally experience. The weather in fact was not only grey and dreary, the humidity was significant enough it left us a rather large present along our typical cityscape ambling yesterday morning. While little mushrooms aren’t uncommon after rainy weather, this one took me by surprise.

‘Shroom anyone?

The little Miss Ninja wasn’t that keen on trying to avoid photo bombing her brother so much either. But her reliable stay…well…let’s just say it ain’t all that reliable and no need to take unnecessary chances, right? It was a feat keeping Sam sitting next to this huge mushroom that sprouted up overnight, keeping Elsa out of the frame and me able to hang on to her with a bag of poop to dispose of, all the while not dropping the phone or dropping the leash. But us moms are jugglers if anything. Over the years, I don’t think I’ve ever seen that large of a mushroom after a day of rain in Denver and had to capture it. I know it looks like a gnarly tree stump but trust me…that was one. mega. fungus!

Cheers for a great Friday and an even better weekend. Yikes, just realized April starts this weekend. Got any April Fool’s Day pranks prepared that you’re willing to share?

Live, love, bark! ❤︎

Trivia Tuesday

When I prepared the post for today, I realized I neglected to acknowledge a bit of trivia associated with today. So today will be a twofer with two posts. Affectionately known as Pi Day and celebrated in the US on March 14. A nod to the mathematical constant known as π (pi), this day is a fun day to eat pie, throw pies and discuss the significance of the number. March 14 is also the birthdate of Albert Einstein, the well-recognized theoretical physicist. So today, I say, Happy Birthday, Al and would someone please pass some pie?!

It is well known this upright is horrid with math, but any day associated with pie…irrational or not…well that’s an entirely different equation. Got any cool Pi Day plans?

Live, love, bark! ❤︎