You may recall that I recently complained about Sam NOT waking me up when we were transitioning into DST (sheesh, makes you wonder, are we humans EVER satisfied?) but when he wakes me up for this kind of stuff…well it makes for a less than cheerful upright.
During the work week, I normally rise at 5 AM to get in our morning walk, to shower, make coffee & lunch, and get any quick domestic chores out-of-the-way before leaving to catch the bus. I’ve done it for at least a hundred years so now it seems part of the my DNA. Dogs likewise tend to be early risers too, mostly because, well, it’s what dogs do especially given they have the rest of the day to sleep. Biology sort of dictates they need to empty their bladders first thing, and because I’m a morning person anyway, I’m good with that.
My house has mostly hardwood floors, so you definitely know when the dog walks across the room. Click, click, click. In the bedrooms there are large area rugs to warm the tootsies up on cold mornings and to soften that clicking sound. Normally this is a pretty effective strategy. This morning at around 4:30-ish I hear this faint click, click, click, stomp, stomp, stomp in the back of my head. I’m in the middle of a techno-color dream and the temperature of the bed is at cozy on an otherwise cool morning and that background sound is disruptive but I continue to dream for a few more seconds. Click, click, click, stomp, stomp, stomp. This means Sam has gotten up from his bed, walked around my bed to see my face with the hope that my eyes will open and the day will begin. I’m fully awake now but keep my eyes closed hoping he’ll get the hint to wait a half an hour but the stomping (on the rug) has become more insistent. Heavy stomp, heavy stomp, heavy stomp. I swear when Sam goes into this mode, he rivals Michael Flatley with his racket step-dancing. I look over, open my eyes and see Sam wagging his tail, all cheerful and everything and so happy to see me awake. I groan with, “Dude, it’s not time yet!” STOMP, STOMP, STOMP…the noise continues. Ugh. Most times when Sam wakes up early he just wants to get up on the bed with me and cuddle. I tap the pillow and up he pops in a flash. He circles like he’s about to get into the cuddle position but only lays down and stares at me then restlessly circles around the bed again and then quickly jumps down, an indication that suggests all is not well on the digestive front and that he needs to go outside…now. Delay in getting a dog outside when their tummy is upset is like playing Russian Roulette. Too quick and you have disrupted your nice warm setting and slumber, too late and you’re spending the next 45 minutes on a date with paper towels, disinfectant, and a mop. Yeah, that kind of upset tummy. Ew.
Not wanting to start the week out like that, I drag my sorry self out of bed, look to see if it’s raining as Doofas is bouncing up and down like a pogo stick. He cannot contain his joy-his antics have worked;surely he’s the best wizard in the world since his spells seem to make me do whatever he wants me to do. I quickly dress, we fly toward the back door and he runs out like he’s been shot out of a cannon. But wait…he stops and tracks back, there’s some intriguing scent and he’s Johnnie on the spot to check it out. As I walk down the driveway toward the alley, he bounces over, realizing ‘oh yeah, I’m out here to do some serious business’ and he goes to his reliable pee spot at the fence, sniffs, circles, sniffs some more and then circles back again…and then…ahhh, eureka! the leg lifts up and a tiny piddle trickles out. What the…?! A barely 3-second dribble and then he bounces back toward the back door. Are you freaking kidding me?! ;(
He seemed so pleased with himself, I didn’t even grumble out loud mostly because of my sleepy stupor, so I just turn out the light and decided to crawl back into bed for 20 minutes or so till I warm up again and the news came on. Funny how once relieved of a tablespoon of liquid, Sam still is not content to lie down till the proper appointed get-up time. He continues to click, click, click, stomp, stomp, stomp but not to the extent as he was earlier. Argh! The alarm finally goes off, I hear of all sorts of world pandemonium and my day begins with a stern voice to the fluffy head laying across my lap in the bathroom as I do my morning thing (I know, TMI, sorry-just want you to get the full picture of a day in the life sort of thing…). This dog knows no boundaries at the bathroom door-it just means mom needs help and though I have no thumbs, I can lay across her lap, look up with my soulful amber eyes, wag my tail and all is right in the world. Yeah, not really, but why deal with door scratching and whining at the crack of dawn when I have a built-in leg warmer during those moments. It’s the ritual and wherever he is at in the house, once he hears the toilet paper roll being rotated (even quietly), he’s there even if he’s been in a dead sleep! I kid you not. I tell him he’s a brat and wonder out loud “what were you thinking by waking me up earlier than normal?” He just wags his tails, knowing I’m a sucker for this, smile and I scratch his ear. Again, more pawsome wizard spells by the dog (maybe he should have been named Harry Potter or Dumbledore because he is indeed a very powerful wizard).
Being a morning person, I revel in this time of day. It’s relatively quiet with only the milkman’s van and a few chirping birds welcoming the daylight with noise on my block. Because we’ve had a tiny shower during the night, the ground smells earthy and worms inch their way across sidewalks to dry out from sodden soil. I use this morning time to plan the work day while we go for our walk/run and to see the crystalline light on dew drops on blossoms. I love this time of day; the soft light gives such a glow to everything; it’s breathtakingly beautiful, especially when the sky is ablaze with a bright orange sunrise. The day hasn’t had a chance to run the proverbial nail down the internal chalkboard in my mind–the time is peaceful and lovely. Or it would be if a certain dog didn’t get a wild hair to set everything on its end with a silly wake up call! Maybe tomorrow all will return to bliss…sigh. 🙂
Does your dog wake you up early for apparently no good reason? How do you handle it?
Live, love, bark! <3
Thankfully NO. They do wake me up on occasion, but it is usually a real necessity to go out when they do. I don’t sleep so great to begin with so on those occasions I just get up, take the puppy out and then go back to tossing and turning. LOL
I suppose as they age, this might change and they might have to go out for a few drops but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. 🙂
Love this post! And can relate to much of it….
Kali is a great sleeper. I’m a fairly early riser (6:00 am) but Kali will roll over if I decide to do the same and catch a few extra zzzz’s before starting the day. But there are occasions where Kali during the night will get up and start panting. I know this means she is telling me that something is up – her stomach and bowels are not right and she needs to GO. There is rarely a false alarm so I am grateful. As a parent of (now) three grown children I could hear them roll over in their sleep and be awake in a flash to see what they needed. Now same goes for Kali and I am totally ok with it. Thanks again for the great post!
Yup, that panting thing is definitely like an alarm clock! It’s amazing how we can go in an instant from being dead asleep to “come on, let’s get outside ASAP” in a heartbeat. Same with the two-legged version of kids. We don’t need no stinkin’ baby monitor! 🙂
Haha..so many times I’ve had the same morning, with the same mad dash based on fear of the stomach upset.
Beautifully written. Especially the parts about the break of dawn and the peace before the day hits you. Lovely!
Many thanks!
That a boy, same thing happens at my house but I am not a morning person. urgh
I am not a morning and Leroy totally is. Luckily my husband gets up early and let’s the dogs out but on the weekends it’s all me! Leroy likes to wake me up by thumping his tail on my nightstand and breathing hot air in my face!
Nothing quite like dog breath to wake a sleeping humanoid up! BOL
“Being a morning person, I revel in this time of day. It’s relatively quiet with only the milkman’s van” … Where on earth do you live that milk is actually still delivered? Milk delivery where I grew up ended before I even started nursery school (pre-K) in 1957! I am so jealous! Ducky occasionally wakes me up, barking in her crate (across from the foot of the bed) but usually only if her tummy is upset.
Now that hubby & I are both retired, I let myself sleep in til 7:30. That way I can normally have at least an hour of peace & quiet before he gets up and blasts the damn TV at full volume. (That’s all I have to say about that.) Since the dogs spend the day playing together and with me, they enjoy the extra hour of sleepytime.
There’s a local dairy that’s over 100 years old that still delivers in Denver (Royal Crest). It never occurred to me that might sound strange in some parts! of the country 🙂
Just the fact that the dairy is over 100 years old and still in business sounds strange to me! Especially in these days of multi-million-dollar grocery store chains like Publix, Kroger, and others who delight in putting the “Mom and Pop” type businesses out of business.
Agreed. We are indeed very lucky.
Lulu has been known to punch me in the face to get me to wake up. Klaus will repeatedly yawn-whine LOUDLY at the edge of the bed and, when I still don’t get up, the two of them will start a wrestling match suitable for WWE complete with growling, barking and body slamming. I am not a morning person so you can imagine how thrilled I am to wake up to a three-ring circus every day. Yay boxers!
Boxers…gotta love ’em!
Methinks you dodged a critical comparison that all men know well; namely that dogs and women share equally undersized bladders. Our morning ritual has the dog and the wife in a competition to see which one can disturb me the most while acting innocent.
I mean, if we are going to get into this bladder stuff you women need to ‘fess up. I can’t remember the last time I stopped the car to visit a tree but I know that any trip must include multiple dog stops and wife stops, both of whom are mighty picky about their surroundings if you know what I mean and I think you do.
Max’s latest morning routine is to climb up his bed-stairs and launch himself on to my face in an unappreciated fit of doggy ecstasy. I wish the AJF would do the same but she simply grunts enroute to her favorite seat in the house.
Sorry to go on and on, but you started this. Maybe what Sam needs is a $1,000 doggie pee pad.
LOL, oh Max…you crack me up. Actually I’m one of the fairer sex who have a cast iron bladder and always wonder what’s the deal with those whose bladder is the size of a thimble. Perhaps I was a camel in a previous life? Sam could squirt 3 drops on ANYTHING with a 90 degree angle, but only after approaching it, circling it, sniffing at it multiple times and then one more circle just for good measure. Sam’s $1000 pee pad is the entire corner lot and in our ‘hood, worth a ‘skosh’ more than a grand. 🙂
My dogs have never awakened me but the cat is permanently barred from the bedroom for walking across our bodies and positioning herself one inch from my face as I opened my eyes.
Boy, you just haven’t lived until that honking nose is right in your face!
This was so beautifully written and HILARIOUS. I could also hear the “click click click” because we have Pergo floors throughout half of our condo.
In our home it is Cody who does the early wake up call (my husband does the morning feeding so they tend to bug him thank goodness!!!) I used to get up at 5 for over 21 years (now that I work from home I am up around 6 or 6:30). I used to sooo love that early hour too. you are right, when you do it for so long it becomes part of who you are.
I also laughed when you described how Sam gets ready to pee…just like Dakota and other doggies out there!
Thanks for such a great Monday post!
xoxo
🙂 the joys of dog ownership, eh?
This is the third time I’ve heard a story like this in a week!!! Dogs must be on some kind of daylight savings time or something. Cole will wake up my husband early, even on weekends, then go back to bed. LeeAnna at not afraid of color
Maybe it’s tied to the full moon (now that I think of it)?
I could hear the click-click-click in my mind while reading LOL Easy has weird night rituals, he changes the side of the bed 87 times per night. Out of the bed- click,click,click-head bump to me- lifting up my blanket – carousel ride- crashlanding on my tummy-good night john-boy :o( but the worst is if he “needs” to go out… I always think something is wrong, thunderstorm in his tummy or pee-war… and then there we stay in my back yard… the ice mummy (me) and the pup who counts the stars…no pee break, no other business…nothing… not even a howling to the moon… but I could do that next time, so I wasn’t outside in vain, right?
Could it be the lunar calendar that makes them do that? 🙂
I first thought it’s a problem of the full moon or the blue moon or whatever-moon… but there are no rules, probably Easy has a “raffle-copter” inside and picks “The nights of the walking Weim” randomly… it’s fortunately spring now, so at least I will get no iceicles on my nose :o)